Brene Brown endorses living and leading trusting, authentic, vulnerable, honest lives. We see her in TED Talks, interviews, social media and in writing. We have taken the time to read “DARE TO LEAD” to explore and understand her thinking.

I have come up with four different elements to share, over the next few weeks.

1. A review of “Dare to Lead” – a summary and some key elements

2. Unpacking “Armored Leadership” and then “Daring Leadership”

3. Unpacking Shame and Empathy

4. Unpacking Quotes and practical strategies to develop “Daring Leadership” and “Courageous Cultures”

Brene’s work is beyond leadership, it essentially focuses on developing a work and life culture of courage, safety, trust, respect and vulnerability. Cultures are established by leaders, hence the title: Dare to Lead. You have to dare to do this stuff, to have tough conversations, rumble with hard thinking within an open, trusting and honest environment. You can’t lead this way half-heartedly. You have to believe in this way of leading and working, jumping in whole-heartedly. No ‘half-assed’ here.

I enjoy her work, almost as much as I enjoy the work of Patrick Lencioni. He talks about teams that work from humble, hungry and smart. From trust, with conflict, commitment, accountability to achieve results. Brene’s works feature much of this, with emphasis on the foundations of a what is needed to lead a culture of courage.

DARE TO LEAD breaks into four parts:

#Rumbling with vulnerability (and all its bits) – this is a huge section of the book

# Living into our values

# Braving trust

# Learning to rise (pulling it all together)

Part 1: Rumbling with vulnerability

There are barriers and obstacles to daring leadership. They are real and sometimes fierce. We need braver leaders and more courageous cultures. We need to lead with integrity, set boundaries to rumble, embrace empathy and vulnerability. First, Brene shares her top 10 barriers.

1. Avoiding tough conversations – this results in gossip, yeah-nah or the ‘dirty yes’

2. We spend too much time dealing with problematic behaviours that we allow people to create – the dramas and things that take away from real talk. Instead we need to spend time acknowledging and addressing fears, to allow people to get on with things.

3. Diminished trust – because we lack connection and empathy. (We explore empathy later, but if we focus on the task (armored leadership) and work in a culture where people aren’t valued and trusted, results are never going to be as they should.

4. With lack of trust, not enough people take smart or creative risks – they are ruled by fear and ridicule.

5. Getting stuck and becoming defined by setbacks, challenges and failures. Do you have a culture of growth and challenge? Is it safe to learn?

6. Too much shame and blame – not self-accountability and learning

7. We opt out of vital conversations about diversity and inclusivity – cultures of conformity and compliance

8. Fixing the wrong things for the wrong reasons

9. Values are aspirations, not behaviours (Part 2 deals with this!)

10. Perfectionism stops growth and learning (see #5!)

Brene surmises that people are afraid to rumble. To discuss, to debate, to initiate, to innovate and to bring new ideas. The wrong culture kills this. Trust may not be there. Without trust we can’t take risks (open up and be vulnerable). Rumbling and vulnerability requires boundaries – making it clear what is okay and what isn’t, and why. Once established, then we should live them and enforce them. Rumbling is healthy. Rumbling means being vulnerable.

Part 1 continues in this vein. It challenges myths: ‘vulnerability is a weakness’ or ‘I don’t do vulnerability’ – so you don’t create, innovate and allow risk taking? Another myth, ‘listen to what people have to say’ – only if it is a voice you value – one who speaks with truth (not what you want to hear), listen to those who are brave, who jump into the arena. Not those who speak with criticism, cynicism and fearmongering. This isn’t feedback.

Brene calls leaders to courage. The courage to speak with clarity. Be clear. Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. Tell whole truths. Don’t bullshit to make people feel better. Trust enough to be honest.

Armor people with skills. Invest time in addressing fears and creating clarity… not addressing ineffective behaviours.

Define shame and empathy. Recognise what they look like. Confront shame and humiliation. Lead with empathy.

Curiosity and grounded courage gets results.

Vulnerability is: the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. It takes courage.

Part 2: Living into our values

Some great quotes and deep thinking in this section:

· Integrity means choosing courage over comfort

· Daring leaders who live their values are never silent about hard things.

· Walk the talk – practice your values, don’t just profess them

· You can’t live values you can’t name

· You only have one set of values

Brene gives us a great value process. Try this – go even further – try this as a self-led performance management tool

1. Define two values

2. Identify four behaviours that demonstrate these values

3. Identify 3-4 ‘slippery’ behaviours that counter or undermine these values

4. Write an example of living these values

5. Get feedback – real feedback about how well you live these values. Be accountable!

Part 3 – Braving Trust

Go deeper in your understanding of trust, as you develop your culture.

· This isn’t soft and it certainly isn’t secondary to anything.

· Do you talk about it as a team? With your staff?

· Do you ‘live’ trust in the workplace?

Try BRAVING

B – Boundaries

R – Reliability

A – Accountability (for your own actions and mistakes)

V – Vault – don’t share what’s not yours to share

I – Integrity – courage over comfort

N – Non-judgment

G – Generosity – believing intentions of kindness, not letting your insecurities and ego get in the way

Part 4 – Learning to Rise

· Learn to have these conversations

· Learn from (and teach) millennials and Gen-Zers

o They are curious, hopeful, always learning, attuned to others, anxious to alleviate suffering

o They are starving to put courage into action: TEACH THEM THE SKILLS (to rise and to fall and to rise again – resilience and courage)

In summary, we are challenged to RISE – Live it. Be courageous. Be Brave. Be authentic. Be daring. Be vulnerable. Develop cultures that trust enough to rumble.

brenebrown.com

Buy your copy of Dare to Lead, from Amazon Books. Copy and paste this link into your browser: https://amzn.to/3faQdnf

Review: Dare to Lead – Brave work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts – Brene Brown – 2018 – Vermillion - BONUS!